Relationships with Your Ex Following a Divorce

Posted by Steven D. Eversole | Aug 01, 2015 | 0 Comments

When a couple gets divorced with no children, it is quite possible they will never have to talk to each other again, aside from running into each other on occasional events with mutual friends.   However, if a couple has minor children together, the court case may be over, but the former spouses will have to deal with each other for many years to come.

Some couples do not handles this well. They spend years warring over every detail of child custody, support and other matters.

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But it often does not have to be this way if each person commits to treating each other with respect, both as individuals and as co-parents. According to a recent news article fromHuffington Post, newly-divorced couples have a chance at a second relationship through their efforts to co-parent. While this new relationship is not the kind of intimate relationship seen during a good marriage, it is still based on a type of love, according to the author of this article.

When most people get divorced, they tend to spend much of the time they are not with their children thinking about what they did wrong, and how they wish they could be there for their children. However, if they spend the time they have with their children being the best parent they can be, and spend the time they are not thinking of the good times they had with their children and focusing on their own lives, then they are doing exactly what they are supposed to do. In other words, they are being there for their children and contributing half of what it takes to raise the kids while the other spouse is doing the same.

The author also suggests that if you realize this person loved you enough to have family with you at one point, you still enjoy that love without being in a relationship by working to be a good parent.

Our Birmingham divorce attorneys understand that, while this may be too much for many newly divorced parents to handle and find the joy in this new type of the relationship with their ex-spouse, it does show that not every divorced couple has to constantly be engaged in a battle with each other over issues pertaining to child custody and child support.

First, with respect to child support, if you consult with an experienced family law attorney, you are likely to get a far better outcome in terms of child support payments than if you choose to represent yourself. While people decide it will be cheaper to represent themselves during their divorce, it often ends up costing far more money that it would have to have an attorney in the long run with years of child support payments that are too high to make each month and a child custody arrangement that is far more favorable to your former spouse.

It is also important to understand that the more you can work out with your former spouse in terms of child support and child custody, the better your relationship will be with your children and your former spouse. Contrary to what many people seem to believe, making negative remarks about your child's other parent to the child will not help anyone.

Additional Resources:

Divorce Is a Second Chance at Love, July 24, 2015, Huffington Post

About the Author

Steven D. Eversole

J.D., Samford University's Cumberland School of Law, Birmingham, Alabama B.A., University of Alabama, Tuscaloosa, Alabama


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