Talking to Children About Divorce

Posted by Steven D. Eversole | Jun 24, 2015 | 0 Comments

Many people know they are not happy in their marriage and want to get a divorce. However, they decided to stay together for the sake of the children. While this may seem like the only way to make the best of a bad situation, it might actually not be what is best for the children, especially when it is obvious that at least least one parent is miserable all the time.


It may actually be best to get a divorce, so the children can spend time with each parent with the parents being happy during that time. It other words, it could be better to spend time with two happy parents separately than having both parents living together but being unhappy all the time.

According to a recent news article for the Huffington Post, kids can do fine following a divorce, but there are certain steps newly divorced parents can take help make sure there are no unnecessary problems.   One of the most important things divorced parents can to do with respect to their children is to stand together as parents.

The fact that your marriage is over does not mean you are not able to present a joint front when dealing with your children and making important decisions. Another way to think about this is to put the mutual caring for your children ahead of any problems or negative feelings you and your former spouse may have. One of the worst things that can happen is when your children get to play one parent's resentment off the other to get what they want, and everyone is tying to defeat the other person, and nobody is really looking out for the child's best interest. As our Birmingham child custody attorneys can explain, the best interests of the child is the ultimate standard in the family court, and that is what a judge will seek to achieve when fashioning any decision.

One way to facilitate this is to tell your children, together, that you are getting divorced. This way, there will not be the potentially harmful situation of one parent telling the children he or she and the other parent are getting divorced. This may lead children to believe it is one parent's fault and not a mutual decision, or it may the lead they children to believe they are responsible for driving the other spouse away. This can be an emotionally devastating situation.

It is also important to tell children about the divorce as soon as possible. Children are more clever than they are often given credit for and will figure out something is wrong if parents wait to long to say something. However, it is important to wait until an actual decision to divorce has been made, as uncertainty can be a problem in young children with respect to these types of issues.

Finally, as a true sign of the times, experts are suggesting parents download one of the more popular divorce apps for their iPhones or Androids to assist them with the divorce process in terms of giving them positive ways to interact with children and other similar issues.

Additional Resources:

How Do You Tell Your Children That You Are Getting a Divorce?, June 26, 2015, Huffington Post

About the Author

Steven D. Eversole

J.D., Samford University's Cumberland School of Law, Birmingham, Alabama B.A., University of Alabama, Tuscaloosa, Alabama


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