Advice From Children of Divorce

Posted by Steven D. Eversole | Apr 01, 2015 | 0 Comments

There is no question that divorce is an emotional event for everyone involved, but it is often the couple's children who everyone is most worried about. According to a recent article fromHuffington Post, there are certain steps both spouses can take to help make divorce easier for their children.


Interestingly, one of the most important things you can do to help your children during and after your divorce is realize a divorce doesn't mean you have failed as a parent. It is important to realize that the strength of your marriage, or lack thereof, does not have any bearing on your skill as a parent. As the article points out, being able to function as a good mom or dad, regardless of the divorce, should reassure you that you can still be a good parent to your children.

Another important thing is not to insult or speak badly of your ex in front of your children. There are certain conversations best had outside of the presence of your children, and insults or negative comments about your ex should be included in this category. When children hear these things, they do not know how to process them, and it may end with hostile feelings to you, or could negatively affect your child's emotional state in general.

Another point discussed, and this cannot be stressed enough by our Birmingham divorce lawyers, is to fight for access to your children. In some divorces, or child custody cases, if the parents were never married, a parent might be willing to give up most or even all custody simply because it is easier. While it may seem easier in the short term, this is a decision you may regret for the rest of your life, and it may cause serious emotional distress to your children, which can affect the rest of their lives. To that end, you should speak with a divorce attorney who will fight for your rights to be a parent to your children and will be on your side during the difficult process, no matter how hard it may be at times.

It is also important to try to find a way to get along with your ex, at least with respect to your children. Even if there is no longer a marital relationship between you and your ex, you will need to deal with him or her for the rest of the time your children are still minors, and constantly fighting will not improve the situation for anyone. Far too often, people see themselves in an ongoing war against their ex, and, if this can be avoided, it is best to try. On the other hand, if your ex is truly being unreasonable, not paying child support, not following visitation procedures, or similar problematic issues, you should be prepared to have your attorney fight when necessary.

Finally, the importance of being honest with your children during the process should be noted. Experts believe that when we try to shield our children, we often end up causing more harm than good.

Additional Resources:

8 Things Kids Of Divorce Want Parents To Know, April 2, 2015

About the Author

Steven D. Eversole

J.D., Samford University's Cumberland School of Law, Birmingham, Alabama B.A., University of Alabama, Tuscaloosa, Alabama


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