Life After Divorce for Men

Posted by Steven D. Eversole | Jun 16, 2015 | 0 Comments

There is no question going through a divorce can be a very emotional process. While some divorce cases involve a great deal of arguing and litigation, even the most civil divorce proceedings can still result in emotional upheaval. However, once the divorce has been granted, many of people find themselves still trying to deal with the pain and get their lives back on track.

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According to a recent news article from theHuffington Post, many men are often struggling to work things out in their lives following divorce. The author of this article looked at some of the steps men have successfully used to “bounce back” from their divorce.

If you have children, one of the most important things to remember is that you only divorced you spouse, and you still need to be a father. While many think the divorce will automatically harm their relationship with their children, this doesn't have to be the case. Some experts believe the father is needed more than ever following a divorce, and he now has more freedom to parent in a manner he finds appropriate and doesn't not have to constantly be checking with his former spouse on issues related to child care.

Another important thing you can do following a divorce is stop speeding all of your time trying to figure out what you could have done differently to save your marriage. While, for some, thinking about the divorce is helpful, being consumed with second-guessing your actions is not. Some experts recommend you schedule a half hour a day to think about the divorce. If you start thinking about it at other times, tell yourself you must wait. If you miss an appointment, you must wait until the next one.

As our Birmingham divorce attorneys understand, while many people tend to think of a divorce as the worst thing that could have ever happened, many people are truly better off being divorced as opposed to continuing to live in an unhappy marriage. Obviously, it is worth talking with your spouse and trying to work things out, if you think it is possible to do alone or with the help of a marriage counselor, but not all marriages can be saved.

Another important point to help get on with your life is to avoid feeling guilty for things that are not your fault. If you were guilty of a specific issue leading to divorce, like cheating on your spouse, you should not feel guilty simply because your marriage didn't work out as intended. However, if you are guilty of breaking your marriage vows, it is important to understand that all people are capable of making mistakes, and that you can learn from your conduct, so that it doesn't happen again in future relationships.

Speaking of future relationships, experts advise against introducing your children to every person you are dating. It is best to wait and see if there is a connection and you intend to commit to that person before having her meet your children. Children can become confused, elated, or even angered by meeting someone you are dating, and it is best not to subject them to this over and over again.

Additional Resources:

7 Ways Men Say They Bounced Back From Divorce, June 2015, Huffington Post

About the Author

Steven D. Eversole

J.D., Samford University's Cumberland School of Law, Birmingham, Alabama B.A., University of Alabama, Tuscaloosa, Alabama

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