Tips for Ex-Spouses Attending Child’s Graduation after Divorce

Posted by Steven D. Eversole | May 28, 2015 | 0 Comments

If a separated couple has children and both parents want to play a role in child's life, it is almost impossible for exes to totally avoid interaction.

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Essentially, the fact a couple has a child together means the parties will all have to figure out a way to get along, and, in many cases, the parties will have to attend various events together for many years to come. In other words, you will also need to stay connected with the other parent of your child, and it is better for your child and your own emotional well-being if you are not fighting with your now ex-spouse for the rest of the time until your child legally becomes an adult.

According to a recent news feature for the El Cerrito Patch, your child's graduation is not the place to fight with your former spouse about problems during the marriage or problems you currently have with this person. The event is and should be about your child's graduation.

As our Birmingham child custody attorneys can explain, many people find themselves engaged in such bitter fighting during the legal process, they tend to think of the process as a matter of either wining or losing and will even go so far as to put their children in the middle of their emotional and legal battle. Unfortunately, many people see the amount of custody or visitation they have with their children as a method by which they can control the other parent. Having more time with a child may mean paying less in child support, and it may also be a way to cause emotional suffering on the other parent. This is a situation which should be avoided, if at all possible, as parents' constant fighting is not generally in the best interests of any children involved.

Research has shown minor children do not want to be seen as a trophy in a fight between their parents. Instead, minor children as part of a divorce or child custody action want to know both parents will still be there for them and that they are still loved equally.

While there are obviously some parents who are not fit to care for minor children, and, if you are in this situation, you should speak with experienced family law attorney about the facts of your particular situation, when possible, it is best to try to reach and amicable agreement and treat each other with politeness and dignity when your children are around.

Researchers suggest it is much better if children do not feel like they must choose between having a mother and a father. The fact the parties can no longer live together as a couple does not mean the children should suffer as a result.

Situations in which the parents can put their differences aside when dealing with issues affecting child support and custody, and work together to raise their children, even after the marriage has ended, often have much more well-adjusted children who avoid the many psychological issues a divorce can create.

Additional Resources:

Your Divorce Is Not Part Of Your Teen's Graduation, May 24, 2015, Patch

About the Author

Steven D. Eversole

J.D., Samford University's Cumberland School of Law, Birmingham, Alabama B.A., University of Alabama, Tuscaloosa, Alabama

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