Telling Your Spouse You Want a Birmingham Divorce

Posted by Steven D. Eversole | May 18, 2015 | 0 Comments

Many people consider getting a divorce for a significant amount of time before telling their spouse they no longer wish to be married. It is never an easy decision, and even if a person has fully made up his or her mind and wishes to get a divorce, it can be hard to find the best way to tell the spouse about this decision.

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A recent news feature from Huffington Post takes a look at this issue and discusses the best way to tell your spouse you want to get a divorce. The first thing you should do is try to prepare for what you are about to do. You should spend time thinking about your spouse's current emotional state. For example, think about whether your spouse is obviously feeling the same way, or if he or she likely has no idea and is perfectly happy with your current marriage.

Knowing the answer to this question will help determine when and how to tell your spouse you want a divorce.

The next thing to do is choose and appropriate time to tell your spouse. As our Birminghamdivorce attorneys have seen all too often, being extremely inconsiderate of your spouse's feelings by choosing an inopportune time can lead to serious hostility during a divorce, and this can lead to a lot more litigation and overall issues during the process.

One of the most important things is to avoid telling your spouse during a major event in either of your lives, to the extent this is possible. One of the worst times to tell a spouse you wish to get a divorce is soon after he or she has been diagnosed with a serious illness, lost a job or after other similarly traumatizing situations. This will seem like you are abandoning your spouse at the worst possible time, and this can lead to major hostility during the entire process. Essentially, you should not add to fuel to an existing fire.

Another helpful piece of advice is to be considerate of your spouse's feelings, but be firm in your resolve. You have likely spent a lot of time thinking about getting a divorce before finally deciding to say something, and, if your spouse is completely taken by surprise, he or she may try to talk you out of the decision. While this may be the proper course of action in some cases, it is best to let your spouse have time to digest the news before engaging in conversations about changing your decision.

It is also helpful to be ready for your spouse to be upset and angry, even if this means acting in a retaliatory manner or making accusations against you. It is best not to fight with your spouse immediately after giving him or her the bad news. Just be prepared to get yelled at, and do not make the situation worse by getting angry yourself. After some time for the news to sink in, you will both be in a better place to talk.

Additional Resources:

The Best Way to Ask Your Spouse for a Divorce, May 22, 2015, Huffington Post

About the Author

Steven D. Eversole

J.D., Samford University's Cumberland School of Law, Birmingham, Alabama B.A., University of Alabama, Tuscaloosa, Alabama

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