“Befriending” Your Ex? Getting Along for the Holidays and Beyond

Posted by Steven D. Eversole | Dec 30, 2013 | 0 Comments

Divorced couples and couples who are entering the divorce process may find the holiday season difficult. Families may have issues regarding custody and who will have the children during the holidays. As children get older, they may prefer to be with one parent or the other. Recently separated couples may feel lonely as they try to adjust to new family traditions. Remember that even though divorce is a difficult time, there are ways to make the holidays work for you and your family. Some couples have even established a friendship to make these difficult times easier on the children.

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Depending on the situation of your divorce, “befriending” your ex may not be possible now or in the future. Laying the proper legal foundation to protect your rights is critical and can help you negotiate with your ex through the holidays and the rest of the year. Our Birmingham divorce attorneys are experienced with helping our clients and their families protect their legal rights and personal interests. If you have had difficulties with your ex this holiday season, remember that there are ways to ease your differences and help work towards solutions year-round.

Many families will determine holiday plans long in advance. Some divorce parents have even learned how to work out a holiday schedule where they can share time and old traditions. The important part of learning how to get through the holidays is to be open and respectful. Having a visitation schedule in advance will clarify arrangements in advance so that you and your children know what to expect through the holiday season. Most importantly, the way that your family gets along through the holidays can help you get along in any season.

While “befriending” your ex may not seem like a possibility immediately after divorce, many couples have learned to get along and even spend time together after divorce. Some divorced couples are able to share meals, decorate the tree together, and even spend the holiday season together. Recent publications have highlighted the reality that exes can be friends. For most divorced parents, their children are their number one priority. Learning how to get along with an ex can improve childhood, create lasting bonds, and ensure trust within your family.

Understandably, working towards a friendship is not possible in every case. One partner may still feel overwhelmed and angry and unable to move towards reconciliation. If your ex has violent tendencies, addiction or substance abuse problems, or a mental illness, you will benefit from keeping your distance. Creating a post-divorce relationship with an ex depends on your individual circumstances, but could be an ideal situation if you can work it out.

Focusing on an amicable resolution in your divorce should be a priority, however your rights are still at sta. When facing divorce, you should protect your personal, legal, and financial interests while taking a reasonable approach with your ex. It may take some time to get used to separation and navigate a “road map” for your new family, but everyone will benefit from mutual respect and understanding. Though your family has changed, taking the time to adjust can help you can get through the holidays and beyond.

If you are seeking a divorce in Birmingham, contact Family Law Attorney Steven Eversole at (866) 831-5292.

About the Author

Steven D. Eversole

J.D., Samford University's Cumberland School of Law, Birmingham, Alabama B.A., University of Alabama, Tuscaloosa, Alabama

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